Hello Beautiful Friends,
I am back today with a little rant about what's been going on in my life and what is next for me, The Pretty Pauper. I know I do indeed have some loyal readers out there who love what I post and the content I provide, so I feel like I owe it to these guys.
The last month or so has been incredibly difficult and trying to deal has proved to be next to impossible. Let me explain...
My Mom has been dealing with cancer on and off in her life for around 15 years. She has had breast cancer 3 times. The last time (3 years ago) she was diagnosed it went into her bones and has been fighting it ever since. For the last 3 years all her reports have come back as great, no spreading, no nothing. However, last month she had a CT scan done and it came back with devastating news. The cancer has spread into her ovaries and he kidneys. She now faces chemo for the first time in her history with cancer, with little to no hope for remission. My Mom is 63 years old and in my opinion, far too young to go. We try so hard to stay brave but sometime we fall too hard to pick ourselves up and we must wait until we heal to rise again. I think the most difficult part for me to accept is life without her, what my life will be like without her. She is my rock, my support, my crutch, my leader and most importantly, my Mom. What will my life be like without her. I do not want to talk about where she will end up, because I already know.
With all of this going on in my life, I also have been facing bouts of anxiety. You know the drill, flutters, jitters, sweats, clammy palms, no sleep...I think you got it. Stress is a huge problem for me because I can't function properly while dealing with it. My life becomes a miserable hell when I have anxiety and all I want to do it get into the fetal position, preferable in my bed. I know I should probably see a doctor but I prefer to stay away from persciption drugs. For now, I will stick to my bubble baths and hot chocolates to help me wind down.
I'm really unsure of what tomorrow will bring or even what 10 years from now will bring, but I do know that whatever happens I have people who love me and support my every move. Thank you!
So, what now? Well, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. But please bear with me as I deal with life. Also, I am no longer a 'Beauty Blogger', rather I will now be a 'Lifestyle Blogger'. My main focus will be makeup but it will not be limited to merely makeup, if that makes sense.
So, thank you for reading and being amazing!
Until Next Time...